Thursday, October 6, 2022
I wanted to share the songs that were played and the words that were spoken at the funeral for anyone who was unable to attend.
Song list:
Just Breathe - Pearl Jam
Blessed Assurance - Third Day
Who's Gonna Fill Their Shoes - George Jones
Turn the Page - Bob Seger
Use Somebody - Kings of Leon
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Ed's stepdad Luther spoke the following written by Ed's mama, Vickie:
Even before Eddie was born he was helping someone and that someone was me. I was a little wild back in my younger days and was almost sent to juvenile detention. At 15 I found out I was pregnant and that was when I knew I had to change my life because someone was going to depend on me. So thanks to my son I have turned out ok, but I also had the opportunity to tell him that not too long ago. So anyone that knew Eddie knew that he wasn't called "Big Ed" just because of his size but also because he tried to never turn anyone away so he was big hearted as well.
To Eddie I want you to know it was an honor to be your mother and know too that you and Jason will be in my heart until my final breath. I love you son.
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With all of our kids surrounding me, I said this:
Early in our relationship, at a Mexican restaurant in Franklin, Tennessee, Ed looked at me and said 'One day, I'm going to put a ring on your finger.' I laughed it off as unlikely but he proved me wrong because, as with everything else he said, he kept his word.
My husband was unlike anyone I had ever met and he inspired me to want to be a better person. He was a man of conviction and he lived his beliefs. It's pretty easy for us to make excuses and justifications, to forgive ourselves our shortcomings and misdeeds. Not Ed. He always showed up no matter what life threw at him. He didn't shy away or try to find a loophole. He met everything head on with determination and resolve and, almost always, with a solution.
Ed had no masks; what you saw was who he was. His motivations were pure and his good deeds were preferably anonymous or, at most, met with a simple Thank you. He didn't do anything for the likes, the shares, the followers, the karma, or the credit. Everything he did for others was done from love, from faith, from a deep-rooted belief in the Golden Rule. Your problem was his problem and he was going to fix it no matter the cost, be it time, money, or physical wear and tear. If you needed him, he was there. Always. One of his most-used expressions was 'Don't tell me, show me.' He showed us every day what a person with integrity looks like.
Like all of us, Ed had insecurities and doubts but unlike most, his tended to handicap him from trusting others and their motivations and how they really felt about him. He spent so much of his life hurt and unhappy and it took him roughly 40 years to accept that he, too, was worthy of unconditional love and a happy life. With full love but also a willingness to be vulnerable, Ed asked a traumatized, damaged woman and her four equally traumatized and damaged daughters to join his family. Through his patience, love, resolve, and always showing up, it wasn't long before we changed from broken, terrified, survivor-mode shells to a family who finally trusted that we were safe and we were loved. We returned that love in spades.
His compassion and kindness extended far beyond the boundaries of his family. Anyone he encountered was a potential candidate for his help whether they asked for it or not. He was a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, arms to hold you, jokes to cheer you, a friend to the friendless, a dad to the dadless. He filled a void that so many carried with them and that void was exactly Ed-sized.
I want to share two more things with you before I say goodbye to my husband. I hope that both of them bring comfort to you as they did me.
The first fully illustrates what I was trying to convey regarding his kindness, generosity, and need to help others. Ed was an organ donor and because of this completely selfless gift, 30 to 40 people's lives will be changed, improved, and possibly saved. Our Ed will continue to live on in these people, and how very lucky they are.
The second thing is Ed had a Bible verse app that sent him a new verse every day. Part of his morning ritual was to read the verse and reflect. When I got his phone back, I saw that he had not had the chance to read his verse on Thursday. So I read it and felt it was perfectly appropriate for what that day and the following days would bring:
From John 14:27: "Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
To my dear, dear husband, my best friend, my favorite person ever, you were the happiest, safest, most loved part of my life. You are who I was always looking for. Our time together was so unfairly brief. The void is back and it will remain. You are missed. You are loved. You were the best of us.
